Aqua de Beber

The following was written by me in an anger induced writing impulse. It lacks a lot of paragraph cohesion and therefore unpolished.

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...despite my absolute loathing of the fact. ARGGGGGG. It pisses me the fuck off that it takes my dad for me to wake up. But then again I've acknowledged my depressing academic slump for quite some time now. Perhaps brought about by the praise of my grade school teachers of my high comprehension skills, knack for leadership and a penchant for good speaking skills. Maybe it's gotten all into my impressionable, gullible head. Looking back, I remember being awarded the Masonic award in 6th grade, getting the highest scores on the state tests (Which I can still attribute to having now). Damn did I feel good about that. That all went to shit, especially now.

To get to the point, I really don't know where I'm going in life, atleast according to my father. And you know, I really can't argue with him. With my self induced, elitist apathetic attitude, I've dug my self into a shithole in terms of my GPA. In our shouting match of a discussion, I really couldn't find any counter arguments, I really couldn't rebut. Other than drilling on his innumerable grammar inconsistencies and often contextless and illogical sentence structures, I didn't have much to say.

Let me diverge; I think you can also attribute this apathy to my father once more. I can recall on many occasions in our parent-student-teacher conferences. I've never been keen to doing homework. Never. And yet when my dad would often chastise and punish me for not doing it, who would indirectly almost contradict himself when he would say this to my teachers:

"...They're teaching them how to pass a test..."

I would bask in my own narcissist glory when I heard those words, which I often heard anyway.

For some reason, I've always subconsciously thought that that meant that no matter how little work you did, the fact that you passed the test in the end made everything prior to that test regardless. And if you think about it, that makes complete, logical sense. I've followed that statement all my school life. I continue to not turn my homework in, I continue to pass my tests with flying colors.

Although vaguely, it may seem very obvious; the above statement, but in regard to the SATs, final exams and CSTs, it couldn't be closer the truth. Does not a test show that you've acquired the necessary knowledge? Does not a school grade reflect you're absorption of such knowledge? If those are not true, then why take the test in the first place? I mean, if homework was weighted so damn much then why not make the tests homework!? You're grading my acquirement of knowledge, not my menial, trivial, monotonous homework. If all of my classes were simply based on my test scores, I'd be getting a 3.5 GPA.

Alas, I don't live in that dreamworld. I have to life in this stark nightmarish world where my chemistry teacher basically requires me to complete 3 assignments a night, on average.

And to come full circle (As I've beaten off the path way too damn far, in terms of both topic and emotion), my apathy towards homework has given me no foresight into what I want to do as I graduate from highschool. I don't know what I want to do in my life. Of course, many would simply say

"Do what you love, money will follow"

Alas, I can't do so, because as of yet I haven't found my passion. I am a jack of all trades, master of none. Growing up with an aviator for a father, I've always had a mindset that I would eventually join the Navy, become an officer, perhaps travel the world and serve my country. I really wouldn't mind that to be honest. But others say I should utilize my skill sets. Like my mother has always said,

"Become a lawyer, you've got a big mouth"

Nay, I wouldn't. Although I enjoy politics and to some extent the law, I highly doubt I would follow such a career path. However, I can recall on several occasions of which I've contemplated becoming a medical worker, perhaps my love for science would help, but overall my laziness would likely quell suc a progression.

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Eh. I can't write anymore. My paragraph structure is all off. There are a lot of weird grammatical errors. Shut up. I know.




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Yeah. I was pretty irked.

First Affair

I'm trippin'. Really badly. All I have to say.

P.D.A. (Or the lack therof.)

Back in business once again. I got lazy, I hate WoW, honestly. After a rather interesting day, I guess I have to man up. It really pains me to say that yeah, I've been crushing for the past few months. My emotions something I really need to come to terms with. I've come to realize that I've suppressed them for too long. I've lied to you guys, yeah, I've been interested in a lot of people, but my inwardness is inhibiting. I suppose its fear of embarrassment. Yeah, I don't know how to spit game, yeah, I don't know how to sweet talk girls. Up to this point I never put much thought or stress on it. Sometimes I wish they offered a "Dating 101"

Off on a tangent, I'm really disturbed by the fact that I'm not in the emotional flurry that I expected myself to be about 10 mins before I started to compose this. In fact, I'm VERY irritated by the fact that a discussion earlier this evening with my dad and my friends spurred me to write this article.

Back on topic, I find it interesting how fast feelings for someone can die by not talking to them for a day or more. Small talk can go a long way. I also find it interesting how I almost always go on AIM just to talk to her. But in real life I find it hard to strike up conversation. I'm such a loser (<3 Self-pity). I find it interesting how jealous I can be when other people guys to her. Honestly, I hate that. I feel so...so...envious when people do that. As I'm now just starting to learn, "Love" is complicated.

I contemplate about this a lot. She leaks into my thought processes on the daily. She, anonymous as she'll remain on here, is I consider to be one of the coolest, down to earth people I know. She's real easy to talk to, and a few of our conversations have dragged on for hours. I'm infatuated, truly. But, she's too good for me. And she's too pretty, too talented, too good a person for someone like me. Alas, enigmatic she remains, despite a long friendship.

I don't deserve her, and even still I'm jumping the gun there.

Horrible way to announce who I like? Nope, because, I never explicitly did. Rather, I think this is another exploration of my emotions.

I leave you with this, a video of a extremely hard hit on part of Antwan Barnes of the Baltimore Ravens. This Sav Rocca guy gets BLASTED beyond belief.

God Knows...

HEY. Sorry for being slow on posts. Its called WoW.

Agamaggan - Horde - Level 28 Blood Elf Hunter

Dream Machine

This one will be a little more angsty, ranty and whiny. Sorry.

To kick things off today, I think I'll start off with a rant! Now, few people know of my hatred of PETA. PETA hasn't done anything [recently] to spur this rant, but my hatred of them is strong regardless of what they do and do not do. With that aside, I would just like to state that I hate PETA and everything they (think) stand for. I also hate their crusade to convert people to the altruistic lifestyle of Veganism. Of course I think animal cruelty is bad and just plain wrong, but the fact that that goes on doesn't change my mind about eating meat. As long as they kill it quickly, I couldn't care less as to what they do to it, just so long as it tastes good. Because when it comes down to it, Meat tastes good, and I guess that's just something PETA doesn't get. Now, on the topic of Vegans, I hate them just as much. At least the ones that think that they're better than you because they don't eat meat. Because seriously, that's really annoying. I could understand becoming a vegan or vegetarian due to health reasons or perhaps religion, but to become one on the sole reason of being against Animal cruelty is ridiculous.

Alright, enough of that.

One thing that has really been disturbing me lately is my perceived detachedness from my friends. For some reason, I'm just really, really inward about my emotions, at least, that's what I perceive. It really troubles me. For example, I'm not very close to anyone in terms of emotional connection (Not a relationship, per se.) I don't necessarily see or feel the same connection that I see between my guy friends and other girls. I guess you could say I desire something of that sort, but my inwardness and I guess you would say, social awkwardness kind of nullifies that. Perhaps you could also say that I've repressed such feelings in fear of embarrassment? I think there's something left over from 4th grade that makes me nervous around girls that I barely know, but perhaps others are the same? But that would seem highly improbable considering I had a strong relationship with a girl around that time.

*Sigh.*

The same inwardness has prevented me from being outward about my opinions on girls (And to a much greater extent, prevented me from having a girlfriend). Of course, I'm not as inward about this as maybe 7th or 8th grade, where I was supremely tight-lipped about the subject. It wasn't 'til about this time of year last year during summer break did I begin to form strong opinions on girls, attractiveness or otherwise. I still am pretty tight-lipped about who I like. Dare I say almost to the point of degrading it to an elementary school crush, which greatly disturbs me. The fact that that disturbs me doesn't mean I'll start spewing about who I like, because, frankly, just imagining me doing that disturbs me more than being like a closed vault about it.

My lack of a girlfriend often positions me at the butt end of my friends jokes, or, at least at the butt end of 1 or 2 of my friends, whom seem to express absolutely no sympathy on the matter. There 2 factors that I think put me into this position, one of them being my inwardness. The other being my insecurities that say that I'm not worthy of someone, or, that I think that no one finds me attractive, given that I'm overweight, possess no chin, nerdy as a motha*****, and I'm obnoxious. (Many of my friends will get a kick out of the chin bit) I know I've said to myself on multiple occasions that I would try to get a girlfriend freshman year, all of those never fully materialized. Now, here I am, Sophomore year, and I haven't gotten a girlfriend.

Now, many of you will say that the above paragraphs are nothing but a plead to girls to start to date me. You're free to believe so. I'm not going to stop you, or argue the opposite. Because I know what this is. It's an identification of what's wrong with me. Identifying the problem is the first step to finding the solution. Sure, maybe it was a little late of me to start all of this. But now at least I have something to blame my tardiness.

With that aside, I bring you to another one of my dilemmas. I love paintball. I seriously love it. The sport, the lifestyle, the community. All of it is awesome. From the numerous forums I visit to talk about it, to the sites I visit to fantasize about the equipment, and the videos I watch to improve my technique and style and just watch to appreciate the sport. Now, there was little thing I omitted from that little list. Actually playing the sport. Now, don't get me wrong, the I love the sport and everything it stands for and stands for in me. But this sport, paintball, is probably the most expensive sport that exists to man. Get this, it's 25 dollars in get into a paintball park. You get admission and all day air. That's not that bad. Now, if you're me and you own a mid range gun you'll be shooting a case and a half maybe to 2 cases a day. This is where it gets really troublesome. The price of a case of 2000 paintballs averages out at about 40 dollars. All of that money coming out the end of your barrel. For pros, who are sponsored by big corporations, they shoot a case and half, maybe 3 PER GAME. That's 120 dollars spent in a matter of minutes. And all in the name of fun. I can't afford that, not by a long shot. In short, I want money. I want money so I can play this sport. I'll just leave it at that.

I'll leave you guys with this: A video of Mario and Luigi, HxC dancing. It's thoroughly entertaining!

Junior Kickstart

This dang Anime has gotten to me. Suzumiya Haruhi no Yūutsu, or, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya is probably my new favorite anime, and the one that has gotten the most attention from me. And it's a Shojo at that! I think the reason as to why I'm so keen to it is because its main protagonist, Kyon. To give you a summary, he's your average Freshman caught in a series of mishappenings triggered by the attractive yet odd girl by the name of Haruhi. Long story short, she forms the SOS brigade in the hopes of keeping herself entertained at the expense of the sanity of others. Another drawing point that I'd like to point out as well is its absolutely awesome ending sequence featuring the main characters in a silly dance entitled the "Hare Hare Yukai". Its circulation is worldwide, with people performing near flawlessly at cons all over the world. Possibly the most circulated video is the one featuring a bunch of 2ch junkies strutting their stuff in the heart of Akihabara, Tokyo, Japan. Their performance, however is brought to halt by some of the popo. Yeah. I favorited it on Youtube.

This loosely brings me to another meme brought about by the likings of an otaku imageboard - Rickroll. Okay, imagine this, a buddy of yours IM's you telling you to check out this awesome video of a guy doing something crazy. He provides you with an unsuspecting youtube link. You oblige and click it, and you're suddenly whisked away to the craptastic music video for Rick Astley's '80's classic "Never Gonna Give You Up" Congratulations! You just got Rickroll'd.

It's certainly become a fad, what, with this being the advent of Web 2.0 and social networking.

Now, If you're an above average Intarweb surfer, you're probably exposed to many instances of links of the dreaded Rickroll video without even knowing it. They're there. Just sitting there waiting for you like a dreaded AWP camper on de_dust. Just waiting for you to click on them. And when you finally do, you'll become filled with feelings of anguish and frustration, so much so that you'll express it using comments usually explaining who just Rickroll'd you and from where they hailed. I mean with opening lyrics like "...You know the rules, and so do I...", who wouldn't? Personally, I think the whole fad is hilarious. I like the song actually, even though its ridiculously cheesy. And when I do get Rickroll'd, I usually just let the video play and listen to the song. Hell, I'm listening to it now. I think what's most interesting about this fad is its explosive spread in recent months. Even Family Guy did a play on it. And if you think about it, Seth Macfarlane Rickroll'd america. Yeah, he's definitely a /b/tard.

With an otherwise boring day, I leave you with this, an interesting video interpretation of Daft Punk's Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger. One of my favorite songs, its a good representation. Very fun to watch, I might add.

A Bay Bay!

Aww snap! My first post! I swear, when I was imagining all of this earlier this afternoon, I had a pretty good idea of what I would put in my first post. But now, here I am. Sitting in my bedroom, lights dimmed, brother laying on bed watching TV and listening to some Downtempo. I totally forgot what I was to post about. Until I remember (Which probably won't happen), lemme give you a quick rundown of the topics that you should expect in this blog!

• Observations and opinions on all things Pop Culture, Internet, Tech, politics and people.
• An open journal to the world cataloging the many trials and tribulations of my life.
  
• A daily chronology of my summer break, and the upcoming school year and possibly those that follow.
• Up to date descriptions of the antics that me and my friends manage to routinely pull.

Why anyone would really care is beyond me, but its always been a personal ambition of mine to have a blog for me to spill my thoughts and feelings. Not one of those watered down, tacked on blogs you can find on social networking such as Xanga (Which everyone had when I was in 6th grade) and the crappy ones that are built into Myspace profiles (Which aren't really used for much other than posting shoutouts, surveys, and small tidbits about oneself.) But I do hope I'll at least find a small audience of school friends and perhaps even family members who manage to stumble upon this little blog of mine.

And so, I'm excited for this blog, for it will provide me at the very least, something to do this summer. Something to be responsible for during a time where I'll be at my laziest.