Solvang, California. Quite possibly the biggest town in all of California devoted to Tourist Trap-ism (second only to Los Angeles, but that's another story) Yeah. I hate Solvang. Solvang is this small little (Danish) town in Santa Barbara county. It's flanked by the all-elusive Wine Country nestled in central California. As if that weren't boring enough already, right? Well, this place takes it to a whole other level. Let's go over this nice and slow.
It all started as a "spur of the moment". My uncle and auntie were up in Santa Monica visiting friends, so my dad gets the gradiose idea of hauling all of our asses up there and to venture into the great town of Solvang. I insisted on not going, by my dad counter insisted that this was to be a "quality family bonding time". Yeah. Okay.
My ride consisted of watching Ironman on the built-in TV. American ingenuity at its best, I swear to god, that shit kicks ass. The TV, that is. And I only call it american because only a fatass American person would think of putting it there. You know, to satiate their dumbass kids as they are ferried back and forth to soccer practice. Oh, yeah, Ironman was good too. A little too plot heavy for my tastes, could've used more action. Tony Stark is a badass though!
After our wonderful in-transit entertainment, I had nothing else to do, other than take half-assed photos of the rather scenic Highway 101 that runs along a pretty huge strip of California coast. First real time I was able to use my 200mm lens! It's nice, but pretty damn unstable. For precise work (unlike the above), you'll definitely be wanting a tripod.
We met up with my auntie and uncle in Santa Barbara...I think. I don't remember anymore. But in any case, I had fastfood twice in a row, something which I detest. Hell, it was even Carl's Jr.! I love that shit! but its way gross when you factor in all the nutrition. -___- Oh yeah, I bought a random flannel too. Target, 20 bucks, I liked the random ass colors (I have an affinity for green.)
Sup Ansel Adams? Hahaha! Just kidding. Yeah, this is another one of those random-ass window shots I took, and this one happens to be just spectacular. I was blown away at how good a picture I had gotten–out of a window of a SUV travelling 70 MPH no less! In anycase, its not perfect. Because of the fact we were moving, I had to open up the aperture real wide to get a high enough shutter speed; not to mention have a pretty high ISO as well. The result is a slightly out of focus, hazy and grainy picture. Oh well, I still like it. Not bad for mobile photography. :D
And so, after another hour or two glued to the carseat, I arrive into the quaint little Danish town of Solvang. One thing you'll notice there is the fact their economy is driven by 3 things: Bakeries, Wineries and Gift shops. Seriously, its fucking ridiculous. All of these damn places are the same. The bakeries serve the ubiquitous Aebleskivers, the wineries all have wine-tasting rooms, and all the gift shops have danish Chinaware. Its sad.
In anycase, Olsen's bakery happened to be the most prominent in the area, so we went there. Its kinda funny, they force all of their female employees to wear traditional Danish costumes. So its kinda random watching a mexican lady walk around in a Danish outfit. Idk, I found it amusing. >_>
My auntie and uncle. Nothing much to say here, other than the fact that this picture is insanely noisy and I hate the red-overtone. I needed a filler. Oh, and that gigantic gingerbread house looked disgusting in person.
Solvang has a penchant for having a lot of little niche stores. I think this definitely qualifies as one of them. Ho-ly fuck.
As a testament to our boredom, I give you this. Yeah, we found those fake mustaches tucked away in one of the niche stores that lined the alleys and avenues. We got some laughs out of the other tourists, to say the least. Hell, even one guy asked me where he could find them. Hahaha
Officer Dangle of Solvang 911! My auntie had aviators, I couldn't resist. The only thing thats missing are the hot pants. But trust me, you wouldn't want to see that. -_-
In keeping with the Danish theme, Solvang has like 3 different windmills. Their functionality is debatable, and they all sorta looked in a state of disrepair. They were more of an eye-sore than anything.
Again, with the niche stores...Yeah, it's everyones favorite As-Seen-On-TV product to make fun of! The snuggie! God, why anyone would want something like that is beyond me. But then again I think I'm being hypocritical when I think those would be awesome for late-night XBL sessions. Amirite? Amirite?!
After a rather tame night's stay at Vandenberg Airforce base (where they launch a whole slew of satellites and rocket tests and what not), we went to The Greenhouse Cafe. One of the many little breakfast houses that are also ubiquitous of the area.
Auntie and uncle, again. Actually, the food at that place wasn't too bad. I quite enjoyed my Ham and cheese omelette.
After breakfast we went strolling around looking for more shit to do (And really, there isn't much in Solvang, other than to eat and take pictures of shit. Both of which I ended up doing. -_-) This is the best of example of the ridiculously shallow depth of field my 200mm lens can churn out. I was pretty surprised when this picture came out on the screen, to say the least.
I don't know, I gotta hand it to them though. Solvangs got pretty trees. Cool spires and what not too. Danish architecture, although bastardized in Solvang, is interesting.
We ended back up at Olsen's. I hadn't ordered anything the first time around, so I decided to indulge. I got the Queen Elizabeth cream tart. It wasn't exactly what I was expecting, but it was damn good! A bit on the dry side, I was expecting a lot of cream, you know? Oh well, it was tasty, nonetheless.
I have no idea what Marzipan is, but it looked tasty. Well, more like it reminded me of random little Japanese sweets. You know what I'm talking about?
We started moving toward the parking lot to head out. I spied this spare tire cover. It looks like that faux-Deer got dome-checked.
Back on the road. This picture wasn't taken very far from Solvang. Considering how goddamned podunk it is, I was surprised to see any form of graffiti, let alone something of this scale.
We ended up in Burbank to visit my Uncle Art. And for lunch, we decided to drop in here. Porto's. The fucking greatest little bakery ever.
Why, you ask? This little bastard right here. Their signature Potato ball. Spiced ground beef stuffed into mashed potato, then lightly breaded and thrown into the fryer. The end result? Fucking delicious, dammit. I can eat a dozen of these racquetball-sized bastards, and not regret a bite of it.
Well, it turns out Porto's also makes bitchin' sammiches as well. Not as if I'm a stranger to Porto's or anything, though. But seriously. I had the Torta de Pollo, and it was fucking awesome. The black bean spread made it taste soooo good. Hell, those plantain chips aren't half bad either. I await the day I'll be reunited with them. :DWell, yeah, that concludes it for now. This post was such a fucking drain. I usually like to end with a little anecdote or a small little thought-provoking statement, but I'll forego that. I'm too sleepy. Expect something to compensate for it though!
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