Aqua de Beber

The following was written by me in an anger induced writing impulse. It lacks a lot of paragraph cohesion and therefore unpolished.

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...despite my absolute loathing of the fact. ARGGGGGG. It pisses me the fuck off that it takes my dad for me to wake up. But then again I've acknowledged my depressing academic slump for quite some time now. Perhaps brought about by the praise of my grade school teachers of my high comprehension skills, knack for leadership and a penchant for good speaking skills. Maybe it's gotten all into my impressionable, gullible head. Looking back, I remember being awarded the Masonic award in 6th grade, getting the highest scores on the state tests (Which I can still attribute to having now). Damn did I feel good about that. That all went to shit, especially now.

To get to the point, I really don't know where I'm going in life, atleast according to my father. And you know, I really can't argue with him. With my self induced, elitist apathetic attitude, I've dug my self into a shithole in terms of my GPA. In our shouting match of a discussion, I really couldn't find any counter arguments, I really couldn't rebut. Other than drilling on his innumerable grammar inconsistencies and often contextless and illogical sentence structures, I didn't have much to say.

Let me diverge; I think you can also attribute this apathy to my father once more. I can recall on many occasions in our parent-student-teacher conferences. I've never been keen to doing homework. Never. And yet when my dad would often chastise and punish me for not doing it, who would indirectly almost contradict himself when he would say this to my teachers:

"...They're teaching them how to pass a test..."

I would bask in my own narcissist glory when I heard those words, which I often heard anyway.

For some reason, I've always subconsciously thought that that meant that no matter how little work you did, the fact that you passed the test in the end made everything prior to that test regardless. And if you think about it, that makes complete, logical sense. I've followed that statement all my school life. I continue to not turn my homework in, I continue to pass my tests with flying colors.

Although vaguely, it may seem very obvious; the above statement, but in regard to the SATs, final exams and CSTs, it couldn't be closer the truth. Does not a test show that you've acquired the necessary knowledge? Does not a school grade reflect you're absorption of such knowledge? If those are not true, then why take the test in the first place? I mean, if homework was weighted so damn much then why not make the tests homework!? You're grading my acquirement of knowledge, not my menial, trivial, monotonous homework. If all of my classes were simply based on my test scores, I'd be getting a 3.5 GPA.

Alas, I don't live in that dreamworld. I have to life in this stark nightmarish world where my chemistry teacher basically requires me to complete 3 assignments a night, on average.

And to come full circle (As I've beaten off the path way too damn far, in terms of both topic and emotion), my apathy towards homework has given me no foresight into what I want to do as I graduate from highschool. I don't know what I want to do in my life. Of course, many would simply say

"Do what you love, money will follow"

Alas, I can't do so, because as of yet I haven't found my passion. I am a jack of all trades, master of none. Growing up with an aviator for a father, I've always had a mindset that I would eventually join the Navy, become an officer, perhaps travel the world and serve my country. I really wouldn't mind that to be honest. But others say I should utilize my skill sets. Like my mother has always said,

"Become a lawyer, you've got a big mouth"

Nay, I wouldn't. Although I enjoy politics and to some extent the law, I highly doubt I would follow such a career path. However, I can recall on several occasions of which I've contemplated becoming a medical worker, perhaps my love for science would help, but overall my laziness would likely quell suc a progression.

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Eh. I can't write anymore. My paragraph structure is all off. There are a lot of weird grammatical errors. Shut up. I know.




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Yeah. I was pretty irked.